The Road to CancerCon - Updated*

So my BFF decided we needed to commune with some other young, fly, and flashy cancer survivors. Consequently, she made contact with an organization called StupidCancer.  As a birthday gift, she arranged for us to go to an annual event they host called CancerCon. It's being held in Denver next week, April 24 - 26, and I have a lot of mixed feelings about going. I am glad to go support her and meet some other people who know first hand what it's like to have cancer as a young adult. I'm also nervous because, as we know I am a big ass crybaby a bit sensitive and  I'm afraid that I will spend the entire weekend sobbing over feelings that I thought I'd already worked through. I'm hopeful that I will get some new resources for fertility assistance. I'm sure the experience will be a good one. I will be sure to take pictures and share.

Ridiculously Late Update:

As promised, I took a lot of pictures. Unfortunately, they aren't here because I'm limiting how much I share to respect others' anonymity. I hope that's not too much of a bummer.
Overall CancerCon was a great experience. I thought I was going to support my BFF, but I found that I also needed some support. I met gaggles of awesome people, each with their own stories and triumphs. I am so glad I went and I'm excited to attend again in the future.

Gang Tattoos... Cancer Blues

So remember the clarity I mentioned praying for to make sense of my illness? It finally came. It isn't at all what I was expecting. My best friend has cancer. It's much more advanced than mine. That's as much as I'm willing to divulge here. Although her diagnosis came last summer, it's been presenting symptoms for several years.

I have been avoiding writing about it because I was scared she'd read it and be sad. If you are reading this and this is news to you, I promise to hunt you down and punch you in the face if you interrogate her about it. Everyone sees me and wants to talk about how she's doing. It's a challenge not to cry, but I would rather that they ask me instead of her because ultimately I end up having to comfort them. She shouldn't have to deal with that. Shit, I still deal with people bursting into tears when they learn about my own illness. It's really awkward.

I made peace with my own cancer when I was able to tell her some of what to expect with hers. In the strangest way possible, the small bit of comfort I'm able to give her when she asks questions makes my struggle worth it. I would be lying if I said my heart isn't broken. I refuse to not be there for her. She's my person. I can't let her down.

Blasphemy

Why is this happening to me?

Sugar Plum Fairies Don't Dance in My Head

Not the sexiest thing in the world... or is it?