Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Re-birth of Slick

So the hard part is over... surprisingly my body is healing much more slowly than my heart. I'm not ashamed to admit that part of my decision to have a child was because I wanted a love of my own. I'll explain... I was once much more open to the possibilities of romantic love. After living and hurting a bit more I decided that none of what I thought was reciprocity was real. I knew that I would never have to question the love of a child and that I would finally have something unconditional. So I had the most beautiful baby anyone could ask for and I thought that was all I would ever need. The past week of my life has taught me that I could not have been more wrong. I had such a huge paradigm shift that I wonder if this is the lesson I was suposed to learn. The hole that was left in my body has been filled ten fold with the love of my family and friends in my heart. I keep spilling over with tears because I know that my loving is not in vain. If I never fall in love with another man... I know that I don't have to have another baby to feel something real... it was there all the time... I was just looking in the wrong places for it.

4 comments:

  1. wow. This post is powerful. I'm coming to realize I've devoted WAY too much energy to relationships (friendships and romantic) that take more than they give. I'm starting to understand the depths of my loving relationships. The relationships that give, grow, and sustain. Thanks for sharing!! love you! ~mj

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  2. Even though I speak to you regularly, I really enjoy the extra insight I get when I read your posts. I'm elated to know you're healing quite nicely. You've been so strong through this entire ordeal. You have no idea how much I admire your strength, how much I admire you.

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  3. Well Put! Sometimes life throws us curve balls and we have to focus harder on whats bein thrown in our direction so that we know how to deal with it! If that makes sense!

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  4. This post is dope... thinking of a way I can jack it for my blog.

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