Again with the KY Jelly?!?!?

So I went for the first of my quarterly pap smears. Yes I said quarterly... lucky me. It's actually less unpleasant than before. Mostly cause I don't think I have all the feeling back at the top of my vaginal canal. Well I take that back. The snap of latex is frightening. The good old 60 something gave me a double penetration again. Definitely was not looking forward to that shit. The ironic part is... before I went to the doctor I told my mom I hoped he wouldn't do it this time. Like what the hell is he checking for in there???? I have a fantasy in which I have a tramp stamp that says "EXIT ONLY" and when he comes near me I slap a big orange "VIOLATION" sticker on his forehead. Yeah but for real though... I hope this was the last time.

Simba's mean mean uncle

I have a keloid... I'm uber sad about it. So for the eleven dollars I spent and the hope I had of minimal residual noticeability I say... Fuck you Bio Oil you're a cot damn LIAR!!!

From just outside the window

I got an email yesterday at work. It's content was saddening and the challenges therein dwarfed my personal sadness. In my tenure with my present employer at least three of my co-workers have died from cancer. They were all fairly young and when they passed it was a big deal. I'm not good with funerals and I did not attend any of theirs. People were sad about it for a time then as always they moved on. A while back another collegue of mine got some bad news. In November of 2009, David was diagnosed with Advanced Renal Cell Carcinoma. This scared me really bad because this is the same kind of cancer my father had (the first time). His cancer originated on his left kidney and spread to his brain, lungs, liver and most recently, his legs. The email said that it had reached stage IV. I learned the same day that David has also decided to blog about his cancer.  www.dpickens.com  I read it for a bit and this passage stuck out for me,

"My doctors have agreed that the prognosis at this point is anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. When I was originally diagnosed, I was told one year but I have beat that mark and I'll beat this one as well."

Then I wondered how he must feel hearing that he would meet his demise at the hands of this God awful illness. I decided that if he can be optimistic knowing that he has a short while to live... I should try approaching a half full glass with the aftermath of my cancer. Easier said than done... that being said I start therapy to cure my blues next week.